Monday…November 17th, 2014
I CAN¨T BELIEVE THAT KATIE LEAVES IN A WEEK! I saw some pictures from the Arnetts.. they have a niece in Katie's mission, and it looks BEAUTIFUL! how exciting! Ahhh I remember those feelings like they were yesterday!
This week has been SO fast and it makes me so nervous. Seriously these are your feelings at the end of your mission.. UP down UP down UP down. I just have the biggest butterflies in my stomach constantly.
Zone conference was AMAZING. And it was the WEIRDEST thing because I am the only one in our whole zone going home. I am a loner and it doesn´t help being one of the only Hermana's in Galicia! It was fun and was the last big trip as a missionary. Nothing better than being SURROUNDED by missionaries.. people who have been called and authorized by God to be in this very little part of the world! You can literally feel the authority in every single one of them. And you can see the worthy power that they exercise! I just LOVE it. I have always loved going to conference because it is the clearest example of noticing authority! I love so much when the prophet walks in, everyone stands up, and there is just total silence and you just feel the the power of his divine calling and AUTHORITY ring through your body? How powerful would we be as missionaries if we knew how to truly exercise this divine power! We all have been set apart. But it is up to us and our personal worthiness to be able to let others see and FEEL of this power! I think it is something that we as missionaries forget a lot of times. I mean we have been called and given this authority! In the scriptures it talks all of the time about how we are few. Being a fellow missionary among over 80,000 now, and thinking about how many people there are in the world, it is TRUE. I am part of the very few! It is humbling and it is a privilege. We are few in number. But God never calls the most or the best of the best! He actually calls in in our weakness and makes us who he needs us to be! We are few, but we are lucky. Something that I have been learning my whole mission is how to actually exercise the power that I have that comes from my calling of being a representative of Christ. How to TRULY exert this power so that people can feel it clearly and know who I work for and who I testify of.
This past week I have learned COUNTLESS things as always! But here are some of the few that I would like to share with you all.
First, when investigators are baptized, they are still BLINDFOLDED. So on Tuesday night our zone leaders gave an awesome fireside walking an investigator literally through the steps of the gospel of Christ! I was picked to be the blindfolded investigator and I learned something that I have never known my entire mission. Something that changes everything about the work. So they blindfolded me and put on a backpack fulllll of hymn books and put me in the back. The back pack represented my sins and life. They missionaries began to teach me and guided me every single step. The steps through faith, repentance, baptism, receiving the holy ghost, and enduring to the end. Interestingly enough though, I was blindfolded the entire time! Although I felt to spirit, and as the weight on my shoulders was ultimately lifted, it was the most confusing thing ever. It was so scary also! I couldn't see anything. I could hardly hear what they were telling me. And I constantly ran into things. The thing that hit me the hardest was the ENDURING part. After you are baptized and have the holy ghost.. you still have a hard time seeing where exactly you are going! Actually, you can´t see still! You feel good but it is still terrifying! So we all know that the enduring to the end is the hardest part but it wasn´t until that very night that I truly FELT it. The path of the gospel is a strait and narrow. My missionaries guided me through every step I seemed to take, no matter how little, I ran into a chair until at the very end when I finally made it to the celestial kingdom and the blindfold I was able to pull off and see alllll I had done and where I came from. You guys it was the weirdest and coolest and most eye opening experience ever! I think for the very first time I was actually able to put myself into the actual place of converts and investigators and feel how SCARY but good that it is. The whole time I couldn´t help but think about J. and how she is STILL blindfolded. We are all in a sense! She has changed her life and feels better but still has no idea really where she is going although there are people telling her along the way. It truly and completely required faith. It is something that you just have to DO! She is out there and her testimony is growing and it is strong.. but she is in the dark! For the first time I felt how truly dark and confusing it is. I learned the importance of helping them in the details of every step along the way. The wholeee way. Especially the endurance part. It is a scary world that we are in. It is dark and scary world that J. is in and she, as well as all of us, needs help and needs to use agency to ultimately use faith and make it there!
Second
CHRIST is who I strive to represent and is who allows me to do all I do. The whole theme of the conference was If the Savior Stood Beside Me. The Savior does not ever abandon His missionaries. He is actually right THERE. Right next to us during the hard just as much as during the good. Every single door that is slammed into our face, every single person that rejects us, every trial, ever tear, every heart ache.. he is THERE for all of it. I felt it more than I have this week than my entire mission. Maybe it is because I am truly looking now for his presence during this marvelous and hard work. I have felt not just his spirit but his presence in some of the hardest moments. I KNOW that this is his work. I know that there is nothing better and nothing more important. I am just a 20 year old girl but I will never deny or be able to deny what I have felt of Christ out here on this beautiful mission in Spain. I know He lives. I know that He works with His missionaries. I have felt it and I cannot deny it! I love my mission. No matter how hard it gets you know that you are literally standing shoulder to shoulder with the best life that there is. The Savior does stand beside me everyday. I had an interesting experience the other day. I have been praying constantly for J. and I still do and I am grateful for all of your humble prayers. I called her the other day to see if we could stop by and to my biggest shock she said that she doesn´t want us to visit her any more. I just HURT for her knowing that she is in the dark and we need to do all we can to help her even though it is ultimately her agency to use her leaps of faith. The other day we saw J. in the street just sitting there and I almost lost it. I just felt this sadness that I have not felt before. For a second I wanted to turn around and walk the other way, but I said a little prayer, and felt that we should walk by and say Hi. I felt that the Lord would do it, so I did it. We walked by and seeing her look up and seeing the pain in her soul was so hard! We waved to her and all though she didn´t really want to talk she gave us her little toothless smile and cute wave. Even though I couldn´t do anything else, I literally FELT Christ wave with me and walk with me past her. I felt his love and it was the most beautiful feeling ever knowing that I have done my part and that He walked WITH me.
I know that Christ walked WITH us. I have never felt closer to Him my entire life than I have on my mission and I strive to represent Him in every way possible to be the vessel He intends for me to be.
Hermana Nydegger
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